I'm only a little bit completely petrified by the prospect of my final year at the VCA.
I'm determined not to have a repeat of the way I handled second year. That just wasn't healthy. And certainly not on this scale. There's just so much more pressure this year not to fuck it up. Everything is amplified. And multiplied. And thrown up more ambitiously than it was before. There's greater expectations and further to fall. More room to fail and to a much greater degree.
Currently, I'm still in much the same position as last year. I'm still stuck. And it's still entirely my fault. My attitude is stunting. I don't have the confidence or the self belief to commit to creating anything outside of my sketchbooks. I've got next to nothing to show for the past four months and third years are really supposed to know what they're doing.
Third years, they've got their shit together, you know?
I'm still not sure what I'm about. I think I kind of do know a little of what I'm about, but I just haven't been able to articulate it yet. I can't point to it yet. But it's there, and I'll find it.
I made this new sketchbook from tracing paper. It's just about the only work I've done recently. More writing than drawing I guess, but I'm loving the relationship created between the most recent page and the preceding few. I'll make more of these books. It suits my way of working much better than a normal sketchbook, I think.
More to come. Much, much more.
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